Tall Angry Monster

Gamecube 1.5

02/12/2008 4:30 PM

Whether it was boredom, crack, or just stupidity, I picked up a copy of Endless Ocean last week. If you're not familiar with the game, for once, its not because you're a total deuche. This one's not a popular title, and for good reason.

I'm not entirely sure what I was expecting, but definitely not what I got. Lets just say the title is more than a little misleading. If I retrace my logic, I think I was thinking something like...

I'm bored -> I'll go buy a game -> My 360 is broken -> I have a Wii
-> Endless Ocean? -> Ocean's have sharks -> Finding Nemo was pretty sweet
-> I'm out $30

So I suppose I was expecting some angler fish, sharks, creepy caves, and oh I dunno... AN ENDLESS OCEAN. But what I got was piss poor graphics, a confined yet empty ocean, and a typical cheesy Wii atmosphere. Some seriously weak shit.

Normally I don't equate graphics to the value of a game. Hell, my favorite Mario Kart is for the SNES. But when the only thing you're doing is swimming around looking at crap, the visuals become a little more important.

I'm not sure what the thought process was to release the game for the Wii, or Gamecube 1.5 as I like to call it. But the decision was almost as bad as actually buying the game. Since the Wii is basically a slightly overclocked Gamecube with neato controllers, none of its titles have impressive visuals, High Def, or even account for the existance of LCD tvs (Have fun with lag). So if you're not doing anything with the controllers, why the hell would you exclusively release a game for the Wii? Hey, I liked the Gamecube too, but you know, that was 8 years ago before an evil corporation ate my soul.

BS aside, Endless Ocean isn't as annoying as certain other titles I've recently played. And once you get passed a lot of the initial garbage, there's some mildly interesting fish and even some turtles and penguins. And since penguins make me laugh (not unlike the turkey, nature's clutz) I suppose you could borrow this from a friend and it might be worth like 45 minutes of your time. Have a couple of beers with it, and you might be able to squeeze out an hour of entertainment.

In summary, not much going on with this one. Basically, I'm the dumbass who hated $30 so much he traded it for Endless Ocean. Have a good laugh, and learn from my 3rd mistake ever.

- Mike ... Also balls

That is 2 Ls