Tall Angry Monster

Titilating Titles

03/11/2008 7:36 PM


Over my 2 year career in IT, I've been a programmer, junior software developer, senior programmer, software engineer, and most recently, an operations analyst. That's a lot of jobs, right? Nope. Just one. Every few months, some genius in my 'Office Space' universe decides to give us new job titles. The theory is, a more impressive description increases productivity. Personally I could give a shit. Call me Junior Assistant Smelly Ass Von Poopington for all I care. Maybe consider some things that actually piss me off. Here's a quick list of things to look into:
Sallary
vacation
Flexible hours
Calling me at home
Infinite meetings
Pointless dress codes
A 3rd (or even 4th) wall for my cubicle
Food
Beer
ANYTHING ELSE

When I'm super monster dictator of the supreme universe, all CEO's will receive a mandatory wedgie at the start of each day, followed 45 seconds of music from the soundtrack to 'Sweeny Todd' (any more than that would be inhuman). More on my slight dislike of musicals later...

-Mike

That is 2 Ls