Tall Angry Monster

Portable Media Mayhem

02/21/2008 7:36 PM

If you're one of like 12 people out there who owns a Zune, you're probably familiar with my pain. In November, Amazon had a sale on turd brown Zune's. At $90 for a 30 gb mp3 player, I couldn't pass it up. About a week later, I was starting to wonder if I'd been ripped off.

I read reviews, screen shots, and specs, most of which were rosy and happy. The only complaints were with things like its slightly bulkier size, or how its just not as 'sexy' as an ipod. The size wasn't an issue for me, and honestly, ANYONE who calls an electronic device 'sexy' is either an idiot, or hasn't gotten laid in a long, long time. I know you're nerds, but gigabytes, pixels, and battery life, are in no way sexy. Please, get help if you find yourself wanting to violate your iphone.

The device itself wasn't that bad. I actually much preferred it to my ipod. The software is another story entirely. It brings a new low to Microsoft, when you consider ME, Outlook, and Vista, that's quite a statement. Its like iTunes and an ugly cousin made love and spawned one disgusting child. Are these reviewers into some seriously twisted shit?

This slow, buggy, stripped down version of Media Player, crashes frequently, is difficult to understand, and hideous. Can you just use Media Player's MP3 tab? No, of course not. Why would Microsoft products be compatible? Don't be ridiculous. And best of all, by DEFAULT, the software automatically deletes any music copied to the player. Where's half my music collection? I wondered, oh right, of course, that's a feature. Why wouldn't I want my music deleted? I could rant for pages about what a piece of crap this software is, but I've got shit to do, and you don't care.

Suffice to say, when my zune was recently stolen, I was still pissed off. What can I say, I don't like people stealing my shit. But the thought of the world of hurt in store for that poor bastard, that makes me smile a little. Who says there's no such thing as karma?

Several years back Mike and I both got Creative Zens, not to be confused with the Zune. It was a great investment, about half the price of the iPod, it sounded better, and had a battery that you could buy and replace yourself. I currently use the Creative Vision: W which is pretty sweet, has a huge screen for watching shows on, and GET THIS, the software written by Creative syncs using Windows Media player.

Ditch that crap and attain nirvana with the Zen.

That is 2 Ls