Tall Angry Monster


2/20/2009 10:36 AM

You'd think surviving hordes of zombies would be simple enough to translate into an epic game, but apparently not. Year after year, I've been sorely let down by a series of depressingly uninspiring titles. Let's do the list:

Resident Evil: Wasn't bad, but it didn't have the raw action I so desperately desire.
Killing Floor: A decent mod for the Unreal 2004 engine. It was fun, free, and I recommend giving it a try. But it just doesn't have the polish of a funded game. Kudos for the effort guy.
Zombie Panic: A mod for the Half-Life 2 engine, looked a little prettier, but just wasn't fun.
Doom 3: I might be scared it I could see anything.
Call of Duty World at War: The Nazi Zombie mode is fun, but certainly lacking. Its one small level, and a pain in the ass to get a decent weapon. As if the game itself wasn't unjustifiably overpriced, you're expected to pay for the extra maps. I think not.
Dead Rising: So help me, if you consider this a decent title, I will slap the stupid out of you. This monstrosity has dozens of fatal flaws. Before you even consider a rebuttle, I remind you, a fucking soccer ball is a legitimate weapon in this fiasco.

I could list a few more, but lets skip to the worst game in this genre. Left 4 Dead. A little harsh? You tell me. Even the title,though fittingly appropriate, is stupid. The number "4" sums up this rip off. 4 levels, 4 characters, 4 guns (and 4 virtually upraded versions of them), and 4 hours of play. Yippee.

There's no plot to speak of. There's no strategy. There's no pretty graphics. What you wasted $60 on, is a half assed Half-Life 2 mod, that doesn't hold a candle to Counterstrike. Valve's upcoming free expansion, and recent price drop is nothing more than a long overdue apology.

Kiss my ass anyway Valve.

That is 2 Ls